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Joke of the Day
"when I grow up I want to be the guy who wears a puffy suit and gets attacked by police dogs"
Next Joke
"I'm stuck at a boring wedding reception, tell me a joke to get through it"
"A naked woman robbed a bank... No one could remember her face."
"What did the slaughterhouse foreman say when he found out his best butcher had his heart, lungs and kidneys ripped out in a cutter accident? That's offal"
"Drinking this No More Tears shampoo is just making me sadder."
"Did I tell you about the time I was going down on my grandmother? All I could taste was horse semen... So I thought to myself, ""this must be how she died!"""
"Me: Bless me father for I have sinned... Priest texting me back: I already told you, I'm not absolving u of your sins unless you come in."
"Q: why did the blond stare at her orange juice for 2 hours? A: because it said ""concentrate"""
"[Siri Beta] What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with an alien? A mars-upial"
"I never chase a man. I always go for the ones who are too fat to run."