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Joke of the Day

"I never chase a man. I always go for the ones who are too fat to run."

"I took a ""Paint with Wine"" class. The instructor was really impressed with how well I handled my wine."

"What is the difference between a prostitute with diarrhea and an epileptic corn husker? One shucks between fits.."

"What do you call it when wolves get bad breath? Howl-itosis."

"Why couldn't the physicist get the Standard Model to work? Because it wouldn't commute!"

"Hi mom, we shot the new Hobbit movie today. I'm orc #56, the one accidentally wearing a watch. The director was really mad."

"Why can you always trust Frankenstein's monster? He's got somebody else's back, he could probably handle yours."

"Facebook has really revolutionized how quickly we find out friends from high school gave up on their dreams."

"date: where did u get that, i don't see that on the menu me: (biting into my corn on the cob) i bring my own corn on the cob"

"Have you guys heard of the Ed Zachary disease? if you get the disease you'll look Ed Zachary like him!"