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Joke of the Day

"So the other day I was throat fucking a black chick She said ""I can't breathe!"" I said ""Honey, lets not make this political."""

"A boring midget asked for advice picking up the ladies I said all you need to do is get a little personality"

"The last time I stayed in a hotel I asked for a wake up call. So the next morning the front desk called me and asked ""What are you doing with your life?"" ""I'm up."""

"Your mom is like a chicken coop... Cocks fly in and out all day!"

"A dyslexic robber walks into a bank... He says, ""air in the hands mother-stickers, this is a fuck-up!"""

"What do you call a fish with no eyes? ....a fssshhh..."

"The orthodontist says I'm doing a ""super job"" wearing my retainers. All this really means is that I'm able to put things in my mouth."

"Whats the worst part of breaking up with a Japanese girl? You have to drop the bomb twice before they get the message."

"Do I believe in climate change? Uhh yeah I believe... it DOESN'T EXIST AHH HAHA (a fiery gull falls out of the sky) HAhaha hey fire bird"

"How do you expect us to loan you money if you can't prove to us that you don't need it? -Banks"