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Joke of the Day

"The last time I stayed in a hotel I asked for a wake up call. So the next morning the front desk called me and asked ""What are you doing with your life?"" ""I'm up."""

Next Joke
 
"[I remove my bike helmet, but my toupee comes off with it] ""I'm sorry guys, is there something funny about safety?"""
"My current diet all ends with an S. Pizzas. Hamburgers. Tacos. Nachos. Everything that's in sights."
"What do you call a lesbian who doesn't believe in gods? A gay-theist. EDIT: Spelling error. whoops"
"I heard Plexiglass coffins are making a comeback, but... Remains to be seen."
"Why don't Junior League debutantes engage in group sex? Too many thank you notes to write afterwards."
"What do you call nuts on the wall? Walnuts What do you call nuts on a chest? Chestnuts What do you call nuts on a chin? A dick in your mouth"
"How are woman and tornadoes alike? They both moan like hell when they come and take the house when they leave."
"*I'm worried about tomorrow* Tomorrow: I'm fine, stop worrying."
"What do you call a missing shape? A polygone!"