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Joke of the Day

"Do not hit a woman... Do not hit a woman. Cause after all the shit, you need someone to make you a sandwich."

"It's a shame what happened to the Dolphins's parents...... I can't imagine being an Orfin"

"My hobbies are scrolling through twitter, charging my phone and being generally dissatisfied with things."

"Why did the sperm cross the street? Because i put on the wrong socks."

"This watch means a lot to me, I got it from my Jewish Grandfather He sold it to me on his deathbed."

"I can't do this. I think I'm dying. Why does your face look like a donut? ~ me 30 minutes into dieting"

"Why does Trump want to build a great wall? China has one and they don't have many Mexicans"

"Best time to watch German rape porn? Nein! Ooooo nein!"

"(Hope this isn't a repost) What happens when a stormtrooper and a redshirt get in a fight? The stormtrooper misses every shot, but the red shirt still dies."

"How do you sink a submarine full of blondes? you knock on the door."