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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes pretending to be busy takes more effort than being busy."

"My blood test results are in today. Now I have to call my ex and tell her that she has high cholesterol."

"I was masturbating when I heard some one scream ""Help"". So I came as fast as I could."

"Hear about the kidnapping at school? Don't worry he woke up"

"My skateboarding career and Jon Snow have a lot in common. They both ended with an Ollie."

"Have you ever flicked a cigarette out the window then five minutes later you start to smell something? So you turn around only to find your grandma fingering herself in the back seat."

"Q: How many screenwriters to make ""Titanic"" a good movie? A: One more than they had."

"What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't fucking know. Chickens don't even know what roads are he probably thought it was a field."

"Customer: You said these pants were pure wool but the label says ""all cotton."" Salesman: Oh that's just to keep the moths away."