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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a lobster with breast implants and a dirty bus stop? One is a busty crustacean, the other is a crusty bus station."

"I'm a virgin by choice just not my choice."

"What kind of water do you put into a waterbed? Spring water"

"My mom told me not to hang out with bad girls, she never said don't be one."

"Teacher : Why are you the only child in the classroom today ? Pupil : Because I was the only one who didn't have school dinners yesterday !"

"How many teamsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 19 . Got a problem with that?"

"Why did Shrodinger's girlfriend dump him? Because she didn't like his lack of commitment"

"Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair..."

"My girlfriend just introduced me to the parents. As if I've never met my own mum and dad before."

"I've been seeing a lot of commercials for lawsuits concerning metal on metal hip implants. I'm going back in time and getting a hipster implant, before metal was cool."