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Joke of the Day

"What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a giant scorpion."

"Your momma is so stupid That her adult child is still reading and downvoting Yo momma jokes."

"If I ever build my own house, I'm putting a toilet right in front of the refrigerator."

"It can't go on! It can't go on! What can't go on? This baby's vest ? it's too small for me."

"My family is starting to catch on to my ""I died"" excuse."

"CASHIER: 300. ME: Ha, like the movie. CASHIER: Nice one, Seinfeld. ME: Ha, like the comedian. CASHIER: ... ME: Ha, like a mime..."

"My wife's favorite position is the one where I lie very still wearing nothing but a toe tag and she starts dating again."

"What do you call Stephen Hawking rolling away from an explosion? Hot wheels (First joke, hope you like it.)"

"Barista: got a latte for ""Batman""! Is there a ""Batman"" here? *everyone looks at me* Me [dressed as Batman]: that's not me, my name is Jack"

"Why did the clam go to jail? For setting up illegal shell companies!"