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Joke of the Day

"Barista: got a latte for ""Batman""! Is there a ""Batman"" here? *everyone looks at me* Me [dressed as Batman]: that's not me, my name is Jack"

"Q: How do you know you're flying over Poland? A: Toilet paper hanging on the clotheslines."

"What do you call a fight between a child molester and an illegal immigrant? Alien versus Predator."

"I like my coffee like i like my women... ...from a third world country and at a reasonable price!"

"Confucius on baseball Confucius say ""Baseball wrong, man with 4 balls can't walk"""

"I'd explain it to you again but I'm fresh out of crayons and puppets"

"I should have made a website called www.reallydontfit.com and posted all the pics of fat chicks wearing skinny clothes this weekend. @MaleHonesty86"

"I never make mistakes. . . I thought I did once; but I was wrong."

"If dogs can eat raw chicken, so can I. - dead people"

"These days people treat their cellphones like its a baby... ..except I never laugh when I drop my cellphone"