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Joke of the Day

"Why did the clam go to jail? For setting up illegal shell companies!"

"I swallowed my keys It's a pain in the ass getting in and out of the doors."

"I went on a date with a girl in a wheelchair... I stood her up, and thats when she fell for me, now were on a roll, I just have to figure out how to ramp it up in the bedroom."

"Why did the tree keep getting grounded? Because it was s knotty pine!"

"My father could have the original copy of the Declaration of Independence on the counter, and still make a meatball sandwich over top of it."

"Cereal is the sweatpants of food."

"I took a public speaking class in college. I did a presentation about Free Speech. It was mostly just about the website where I downloaded my speech."

"Did you hear why the energizer bunny got sent to jail? He was charged with battery"

"If a king farts... Is it considered a noble gas?"

"Why were all the numbers afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9."