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Joke of the Day
"My family is starting to catch on to my ""I died"" excuse."
Next Joke
"I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus. Then I saw her arguing with him about money. Now I see Santa drinking by himself."
"Did anyone else hear about the claustrophile? He just came out of the closet recently."
"They call me the Weatherman when I'm playing basketball Because I'm never accurate."
"Q: How did Bill Cosby find his daughter in the woods? A: Pretty good"
"I see Freddie Mercury has had an asteroid named after him. His surviving family have said how great it is to finally have Freddie immortalized in rock, and really appreciate the sediment."
"You know its been a long night... [NSFW] When you stick the razor in the hooker, and your dick in the coke"
"I just said ""Who's a little biscuit!"" to a puppy tied to a signpost outside a cafe & a homeless guy a few feet away said ""I am."""
"""Get over yourself."" *Me teaching clones how to play leapfrog"
"I am 24 seconds older than my twin brother... ... whenever I come out of the toilet I start a sentence with ""When I was your age...."" then proceed telling him the details of my majestic creation."