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Joke of the Day

"I went to the shop to buy 6 Sprites... I accidentally picked 7 up!"

"It's like my Mom used to say, always keep a positive pregnancy test around in case you need to ruin a man's life."

"Bet the wife $50 That she couldn't make me happy and sad with the same sentence. She said I was much better in bed than my brother."

"When you don't even acknowledge I held a door open for you, I want to pull you back inside by your neck, and say ""now let's try this again."""

"Gabe Newell should be the World President He will prevent World War 3."

"What kind of car does Jesus drive? A Christ ler"

"Some grammar Nazis told me about a seminar they are going to attend about cause and effect. They're there to affect its effect and it's there for their two affects too."

"Sorry I faked my death during the middle of your boring story."

"Today, I'm going to give it my some."

"The biggest problem with prison is that you can only rearrange your cell in so many ways because of where the toilet is."