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Joke of the Day

"When you don't even acknowledge I held a door open for you, I want to pull you back inside by your neck, and say ""now let's try this again."""

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"What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man? His wife is good at picking out clothes."
"YOUR MUMS SO FAT...... your mums so fat she makes the moon look small"
"Satan had a busy Christmas... He got a lot of letters from dyslexia kids"
"A reboot of Dexter, but this time he stalks and kills people who crunch their disposable water bottles as they drink."
"Every single person on this subway is staring at their phone and I'm so appalled I have to tweet about it."
"Life without you is like FACEBOOK without friends, YOUTUBE without videos and GOOGLE with no results..."
"Two cannibals are eating a clown... One stops and asks the other, ""Does this taste funny?"""
"Knock Knock Who's there ! Ada ! Ada who ? Ada'mond is forever !"
"Scientist: our large brains are what allows us to survive so successfully 10,000 Year Old Tree: k"