229656

Joke of the Day

"They say history is written by the winners... But actually, history is written by historians and most of them are losers."

"Me; Right, some revision? Son: K Me: Start with chemistry? Him: K Me: Periodic table? Him: K Me:What's the symbol for potassium? Him: Dunno"

"People say that Twitter is pointless but it's teaching my children to be self sufficient."

"Father: I want to take my girl our of this terrible math class. Teacher: But she's top of the class. Father: That's why I think it must be a terrible class."

"How much does Jesus love you? Thiiiiiiis much. (Must be said while arms are raised out to side)"

"Why did the orange stop rolling down the hill? It ran out of juice. I shall take my leave now."

"Why do Jews like to watch porn backwards?? Cause they love the part when the hooker returns the money!"

"Three Muslims walk into a bar... They get shot, because Islam forbids the consumption of alcohol."

"Why does John Snow wear a Rolex ? Because he's a man of the nice watch"

"What do the Greeks sing while at sea? your boat, gently down the stream..."