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Joke of the Day

"Father: I want to take my girl our of this terrible math class. Teacher: But she's top of the class. Father: That's why I think it must be a terrible class."

"Me: I really don't have any bad habits to speak of. Her: So you have no bad habits? Me: No, I have plenty! Just none I'd want to speak of."

"People always give bridge builders a hard time... They're just trying to make ends meet."

"My new year's resolution is to stop using spray deodorant. Roll on 2015!"

"How do you confuse a blonde? You don't... They're born that way"

"Favorite Old People Jokes"

"*loses faith in humanity* ""this is the type of problem that can only be solved by 13 photos of unlikely animal friendships"""

"Him: I love nerd girls Me: Cool! Did you know the human body can't feel water, only a change in temperature? Him: no. not like that."

"Fat lady hops on an Exercycle next to me, she says, ""I'm here to lose weight."" Me: ""And you waited 'til the last min, didn't you?"""

"Olive Oil What's the difference between virgin olive oil and regular olive oil? Popeye's cock."