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Joke of the Day

"If I was in the military, I would be a sniper. That way I can lie down a lot."

"Willie Nelson's public statement regarding being caught with a bag of marijuana recently: ""It's a good thing I had a bag of marijuana. If it had been a bag of spinach, I'd be dead by now."""

"Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now."

"What does a baby computer call its father? Data"

"What did the homeless yoga instructor say when he was told to leave his camp site? Namaste."

"Texans can't comprehend vegans. We just think their barbeque grills are broken."

"Have you ever accidentally ended a business call with ""I love you?"" Oh yeah me neither."

"son I heard u praying for grandma. look that's nice *clears throat* but daddy's tweets need prayers too. im in a RT dry spell right now, son"

"What's the difference between a Slut and a Bitch? A Slut sleeps with everyone A Bitch sleeps with everyone, except you."

"Yo mama so poor when she found a penny on the ground she thought she won the lottery"