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Joke of the Day
"If I was in the military, I would be a sniper. That way I can lie down a lot."
Next Joke
"Black, white, gay, straight, Christian, Jewish... It doesn't matter. It's all good. But a Pepsi drinker..."
"My girlfriend was getting kinky in bed, and she said, ""Hurt me! Hurt me!"" So I got in my car and ran over her cat."
"DirecTV/Spongebob Joke Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? I don't know I have DirecTV."
"When everyone around you is an ahole you've gotta stop, take a long look at you & accept how awesome you are dead center in ahole land."
"""There's nothing more beautiful than the birth of a child."" (someone who's never seen the birth of a child)"
"I want a real relationship; not a Facebook one"
"I live on the edge Her: cool It's scary Her: So sexy I almost fell once Her: Oh! You actually live.. My home insurance is so expensive"
"My penis was in the Guinness Book of World Records Then the librarian told me to take it out."
"While making small talk with my wife's doctor I asked him what he does for a living because I am amazing at human interaction."