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Joke of the Day
"What did the homeless yoga instructor say when he was told to leave his camp site? Namaste."
Next Joke
"Families are like onions.... Watching them be cut into small pieces will make you cry."
"Remember that things always get worse before they get better. Unless, you know, you die in the process of it getting worse."
"With all the bad luck that the US has seen this year... You'd almost think this country was built on an ancient Indian burial ground. Happy Thanksgiving!"
"I must be emotionally constipated ...because I haven't given a shit in days"
"Sick eagles are forbidden by law. They're illeagle."
"Sometimes I get flustered by waitresses and I say things like ""Abso-fruit-ly!"" and they laugh like I'm so clever but we both know"
"I hope farmers are as disappointed as I am by the kinds of people at the farmer's market."
"If the BeeGees are 'staying alive' so much then how come they're all dead."
"I kept reading a book about Gawker... But every page kept going back to Chapter 11"