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Joke of the Day

"Cat 1: Are the humans asleep? Cat 2: It appears so. Cat 1: I shall now sing the anthem of my people."

"Why couldn't the pirate learn the alphabet? Because he was always lost at C! [ I'm^so^sorry ]"

"[interview] ""I'm not sure your experience is sufficient for this position."" me: Trump is president ""Touche, you're hired"""

"How do you say hi to a Muslim in Hawaii? Aloha Akbar."

"Accepting water from a salesperson is a sign of weakness. *faints from dehydration*"

"Yes you impress me but so does a new set of windshield wipers."

"the new #ipad is #smaller and the new ipone is longer. these gadgts are becoming better, in my opinion Posted by PutsGadgetsUpAss at 11:09am"

"What do you get when you cross a telephone with a pair of pants? Bell-bottoms!"

"Child: Dad, I don't like the goldfish... Dad: Shut up and eat your dinner."

"What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot, you assholes."