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Joke of the Day

"Accepting water from a salesperson is a sign of weakness. *faints from dehydration*"

"What do you call the things on the end of Winnie the Pooh's feet? Putos (Ask your Mexican friend)"

"A sniper looks over a large crowd of people from his hidden perch. Over his earpiece, he is told to fire at will. He carefully spots his target, and shoots. ""Crap, that wasn't Will."""

"Repost! You're a fucking joke."

"When my kids misbehave we watch 'Honey, I Shrunk the Kids' and then I make them stand in a giant Petri dish while I set up the machine."

"What do you call a shy, soft-spoken hipster? mumblr"

"What's the difference between slavery and a cow? You stop milking a cow after 150 years."

"Always been a favourite of mine. How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles."

"Hodor joke (Knock knock) Who's there? Hodor. Hodor who? Hodor."

"Never try to kill a termite with a napkin. It'll only get bigger."