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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you mix a joke with a rhetorical question? ..."

"What Bird? Which bird symbolizes love? Swallow."

"I'm gonna drag a terrified family into a shack in the woods at knife point but then just make them have a Wii bowling tournament with me."

"Principal: Do you do your homework? Kid: Now & Then Principal: Where do you do it? Kid: Here & There Principal: Put him in the closet!!! Kid: Hey When will I get out? Principal: Oh sooner or later"

"For a ski team, these guys in the 7-11 sure have a lot of guns!"

"Him: Are you on your way? Me: Yes, this cab driver sucks! *changes outfit for the 6th time, gulps wine and requests an uber*"

"I should start to buy, slaughter and sell baby camels that way I can sell young camel toe."

"Don't you just hate it when the person you're Facebook-stalking never updates anything."

"The cashier seemed to appreciate that I bagged my own groceries until I unpacked them all and said, ""That's how I want you to do it."""

"What do you get when you cross a dyslexic, agnostic and an insomniac? A person who stays up all night contemplating the existence of dog."