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Joke of the Day

"Why was the girl in such a bad mood when she got out of jail? She had a period at the end of her sentence."

"How many therapists does it take to change a light bulb? One, but the light bulb must want to change."

"After they got married she even put his truck nuts in a jar."

"What do you call a group of security guards in front of a Samsung store? Guardians of the Galaxy."

"Q: What's E.T. short for? A: So he can fit in his space ship."

"I accidentally emailed my essay to the 3D printer It came out as a piece of shit"

"A man walks into the doctor's office to get a physical.The doctor says ""you will need to stop masturbating."" The man asks ""why?"" The doctor says ""because I am trying to give you a physical."""

"Why did Moses part his hair? To make a path for the Israelice."

"Went to our annual work party last night... They played 'The Twist' so I twisted. They played 'Jump' so I jumped. Then they played 'Come on Eileen'...I was asked to leave shortly after that."

"Grammar it is said by people that know grammar The shortest sentence in the English language is: I am, and the longest sentence is: I do."