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Joke of the Day

"""I'm so glad that pasting that text included the format of the original document!"" -- No one. Ever."

"I saw a poster today, somebody was asking ""Have you seen my cat?"" So I called the number and said that I didn't. I like to help where I can."

"""It goes from zero to sixty in 5 seconds."" ""Great. And exactly how much cocaine can I fit in the glove box?"" - Anyone buying a white BMW"

"Want to hear a pizza joke? Never mind it's too cheesy."

"What do you call a flying Jew? [NSFW] Smoke."

"What do you call a prostitute working for Disney? High Ho, High Ho"

"What did they find in the toilet of the Starship Enterprise? The Captain's Log."

"There are three kinds of people: Those who can count and those who can't."

"I've never understood people who don't drink because it's ""bad for you"" Honestly, I think they should lighten up and liver little."

"What do you call a nut that eats other nuts? A pecan-nibal! Made this up at work while hungry."