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Joke of the Day

"How do you blow up a Muslim's iPhone? Put it into airplane mode"

"Weed is not a drug, its a plant. Therefore, I'm not a drug dealer, I'm a florist."

"Wear only a towel around your waist and you can get into just about anywhere if you just repeat ""so sorry so sorry"" and keep moving forward."

"I like my men how I like my rum Smooth, dark, rich, and with a bunch of coke."

"Unemployed goal day 37: slide across random car hoods action movie style. And then run like someone is chasing me."

"How do you know that there's a monster in your bath? You can't get the shower curtain closed."

"What did the father buffalo say to his son when he left the farm? Bison"

"What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? Slow down-And possibly use a lubricant."

"20's: I can't remember where I left my keys 30's: I can't remember where I left my car 40's: I can't remember where I left my kids"

"How do you keep a lawyer from drowning? You take your foot off the top of their head."