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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a teenage cheese cracker? Chee-zits I made this up. *bows* Thank you, thank you...thank you so much."

"I was never into long-distance masturbation... But now look how far I've come!"

"How are hanging upside-down and getting a boner alike? All the blood goes to your head."

"I'm surprisingly calm about Internet spoiling Star Wars to me. Who could believe Kylo Ren is actually vegetarian and grandson of General Akbar"

"What kind of blood did the mna have who culdn't spel right? Typo."

"Q: What happened when the teacher fell in the copier? A: She was beside herself."

"How to get a woman mad in 2 easy steps: 1. Take a picture of her. 2. Don't show it to her."

"If you believe the home alarm commercials, the first thing burglars do when they break into your home is smash your family pictures."

"Fun prank: Find a sleeping spider, crawl in its mouth and lay your eggs. Turn the tables. Give nature the finger. Live it up."

"Trump will be President until 2020 It would have been 20:15, but the sniper got stuck in traffic..."