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Joke of the Day

"why did both ass-cheeks get fired from work? One was always left behind causing the other to half-ass everything"

"I slipped in the shower and almost fell... Good thing my uncle caught me"

"Did you hear about the Scarecrow that won an award? It was for being outstanding in his field."

"What do you call a broken vibrator? A dildon't"

"This is my first joke I am posting, here goes nothing"

"At first, I was merely a stock trading enthusiast... ...but now I'm fully invested."

"This presidential race in America has taught us at least one thing. Once you go black you can go back."

"currently texting 'Happy Father's Day' to all the men in my phone to freak them out"

"Q1: What vehicle does T-Rex use to go from planet to planet? A: A Dinosaucer"

"Today's youth are getting worse.. Today's youth are getting worse. I was in a church yesterday, when I saw a guy lighting a cigarette from the candle. I was so shocked, that I dropped my beer bottle"