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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a turtle with an erection? A slow poke!"

"Amy Schumer's track record for great comedy is at an all time career high right now. Hope it doesn't end in a **Trainwreck**"

"How do you find Will Smith in a snow storm? You follow his FRESH PRINTS!"

"Do Russians only write in lower case letters? I mean, they hate Capitalism."

"Arguing on the internet is like the Special Olympics. It doesn't matter if you win you're still retarded."

"Im at the swamp does anyone need anything"

"Why did the kids tell jokes to the mirror? They wanted to see it crack up!"

"SCIENTIST: Behold The self-esteem powered car! Come take it for a drive ME: uh okay *gets in* [CAR JUST LITERALLY FALLS APART]"

"Officer, if I can't stand in the shoulder of the road, screaming and crying, then maybe they shouldn't call it the breakdown lane."

"Free admission to Disney On Ice!! Just push your knee against your eyes and you'll get to watch This Knee On Eyes."