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Joke of the Day

"What did the hipster say when a starbucks opened in his neighborhood? ""You can't gentrify this place! I just moved here!"""

"What is the difference between pile of dead babies and pile of sand? I don't eat sand."

"Sometimes its better to eliminate the problem rather than trying to solve it."

"What's the definition of 6.9? 69 interrupted by a period."

"Hawaiians were never known to be cannibals. Maybe a nibble here and there... You know, finger food."

"You're in love? Cool, I'm in sweatpants."

"I just tripped and stumbled into a group of asian kids on the street and accidentally won a breakdancing competition."

"Record ice and precipitation in the northeast and I'm paranoid that the government is watching me Because I am snowed in."

"""Hi, I'm Garfield, a cat who hates Mondays. But I'm here to tell you that there's nothing lasagna' about global warming."""

"Never sit down in front of the computer while having breakfast because when you get up it'll be dinner time."