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Joke of the Day

"interview with donald trump interviewer:hey where did you get that money from? donald trump:i got it from my daddy"

"Whats the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my dick in your ass."

"Why were the melons upset when they were denied a marriage license? Because it means they *cantaloupe*"

"If I got a dollar every time a girl said I wasn't her type, I'd be her type."

"What is it called when you kill a chickpea? Hummuside"

"If alcohol kills germs and laughter is the best medicine, I'm the healthiest mofo on this planet."

"MAMA Be quiet Freddie JUST KILLED A MAN As your lawyer I- PUT A GUN AGAINST HIS HEAD Just- PULLED THE TRIGGER- We plead guilty, Your Honor"

"Why didn't the bike go to the car show? Because he was two tired."

"I posted a joke about ISIS killing themselves with their own bombs You can view it @ http://puu.sh/j83On/f79d53bf57.png"

"does anyone know a knock knock joke that's actually funny? most of the ones i have heard are not funny at all."