22906

Joke of the Day

"do u know the muffin man the muffin man the muffin man do u know the muffin man that lives on d-d-d-d-d-d DROP THE BASS *club goes nuts*"

"What's the difference between a gay guy and Hitler? About 45 degrees"

"So... a dyslexic man walks into a bra."

"Mumford & Sons! It's your cousin, Marvin. Marvin & Sons. You know that new sound you're looking for? *holds phone to a boiling pot of water*"

"My wife said that I set up the baby monitor wrong. Apparently it's not supposed to be duct-taped to the baby's ankle."

"Why can't americans play LoL? They can't guard their towers."

"Did you hear about the two peanuts walking through an alley last night? One was a salted."

"When I die, I hope it's in a women's dressing room because if I become a ghost, that would be AWESOME!"

"""Thanks, that's a great haircut."" [takes off wig] ""Now let's see how you do with the real thing."""

"A bird flew in my bathroom window when I was peeing.. We stared at each other's peckers."