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Joke of the Day

"Name a body part that's long and stiff and uses the letters PENSI A spine"

"Me: Your generation sits around with their noses in their phones Niece: Your generation made the guys who wrote the Macarena rich Me: ..."

"Both Christmas and New Years fell on a weekend this year, which had to suck for the four or five of you that still have jobs."

"40% of divorces stem from $ issues. 40% are caused by infidelity. The remaining 20% have been linked to IKEA purchases requiring assembly."

"Donald Trump for President."

"Why is it so hot in a stadium after the game is over? Because all the fans left..."

"What does the Saudi executioner say every time he takes a head? [removed]"

"Since I have a lot of exams next week... I decided to buy a Seahawks jersey. That way, I'm sure to pass even if I shouldn't"

"How did the butcher introduce his wife? 'Meet Patty!'"

"This weather girl is giving the weather report and her titties are blocking the state of Texas. #LoneStartitties"