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Joke of the Day

"A naked woman robbed a bank Nobody could remember her face"

"Q. What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in pain on the ground? A. Shoot him again."

"ME:[just inaugurated as president] Where's the nuke button ADVISOR: why ME:[crumpling photo of my 5th grade bully] I just wanna see it"

"What do you call a hooker laying down? Whorizontal. Thanks, I'll show myself out."

"There's nothing more disturbing than the 1st time you hear someone you know using their ""whooo's a good dog"" voice."

"Afraid to fly? It's perfectly safe except that air traffic controllers are all gov't employees forced to work the holidays. Merry Xmas."

"Where do Tumblr users go to pray? The Cis-Teen Chapel"

"Dear Google, It's *You're,not ""Your"" https://gyazo.com/96cc1d47896deae8c436aa8afb56f36b"

"Did you hear about the stupid water-polo player? His horse drowned . . ."

"Communism and nude beaches have one thing in common The idea sounds great unless you've actually been there."