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Joke of the Day

"Life is like a box of chocolates... Most of it sucks."

"I took my prostate exam the other day and... So just last week I went for my first prostate exam. It was really difficult and I couldn't answer most of the questions"

"I wonder if mormons support the transgendered? If they did, they could go on a transmission! -- authentic dadjoke overheard at breakfast"

"What's the Russian word for Internet outage? Internjet"

"I might not be smarter than a 5th grader, but I can buy beer."

"Well, they warned me that I'd go blind if I kept doing that... Sitting too close to the TV."

"What's the difference between a bull and a cow? A bull smiles when you milk it."

"Did you hear about the mushroom? He was a fungi."

"The school phoned me today and said, ""Your son's been telling lies."" I replied, ""Well, tell him he's bloody good - I ain't got any kids!"""

"I have to go to twitter for my news because the news is too busy showing me tweets."