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Joke of the Day

"My friend is so stupid she thought Alabama is a city. Don't worry, I informed her Alabama is the president."

"The perfect Irish bean stew (In an Irish accent) Why does d' perfect Irish stew require exactly two hundred n' terty nine beans? Because if you added one more it'd be two farty."

"Under 'medical history', we were hoping for something more specific to you personally. You wrote ""Fleming discovered penicillin in 1928""."

"My coworkers and I pitched in to buy Greece as a retirement gift for the boss.. We decided it was better than a $50 Applebee's gift card."

"It's that time of year I'm just going to say it now so I can say I said it first I'll see you guys next year Now shut the fuck up with that joke"

"Why does Mexico do so poorly in the Olympics? Because everybody who can run, jump, or swim is already in America."

"A roman walks into a bar... A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a Martini, the bartender gives him two and the Roman walks away happy."

"What do you call a fat person with Tally marks on their stomach? A tally tubby."

"Have the people who designed wine glasses ever washed dishes in their lives?"

"A cell's sister stepped on the cell's toe. ""Mitosis"""