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Joke of the Day

"Tasty Tattoo My girl just got a tattoo of a turkey on one thigh and Santa Claus on the other. She wants to show that there *is* something good to eat in between Thanksgiving and Christmas."

"What was Amanda Todds favorite cocktail? Sex on the bleach."

"What's a sports fan's favourite disease? The COME ON! cold."

"Q: Which of the following doesn't belong: wife meat eggs blow job? A: The blow job. You can beat your wife your eggs or your meat; but you just can't beat a blow job."

"How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time."

"What is worse than ants in your pants? ......... Uncles."

"If it wasn't for the gutter my mind would be homeless."

"I'm always frank with my sexual partners I don't really want them knowing my real name."

"Did you hear about the kayaker that hit a submerged couch during the Rio Olympics? It was a fabricated story."

"You can fart openly as long as you're always holding a whoopee cushion."