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Joke of the Day

"So I was fingering my sister the other day. She said ""wow you do it just like dad!"" I replied ""thats what mom said"" then I found my brothers wedding ring."

"I'll never forget my grandfather's last words ""Stop shaking the ladder you little cunt!"""

"The two hardest things in programming? Naming things, caching things and off-by-one errors!"

"Jokes about unemployed people are not funny... They just don't work."

"I bought a spray bottle to break my girlfriend of looking at her phone when I'm speaking. I hide it after use so she doesn't know who did it"

"I see you're busy. I'll come back and ruin your free time."

"I finally learned to masturbate without hands! Now I use only one."

"I'm no Dr. Phil, but I bet if you tell at least 5 people to fcuk off today you'll feel better."

"The first person who started winking at others was probably the creepiest human ever."

"Hard to believe the American flag is truly patriotic when the American flag itself doesn't wear an American flag pin."