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Joke of the Day

"Did you know that Stalin had a girlfriend that cheated on him? You know what, don't worry about it. She's out of the picture now anyway."

"Me: Goodnight mom I love you Mom: I have a boyfriend Dad putting arm around Mom: This loser giving you a problem?"

"Me: What are your plans for tonight? 13: Think I'll hang out with you and mom. Me: Goddammit...uh I mean that's great."

"What do Marge Simpson's vagina and Argentina have in common? They both got destroyed by Maggie."

"They're remaking Ocean's 11 with an all-female cast and it's gonna be called Ocean's 8 It's that damn wage gap I tell ya!"

"Ruger is coming out with a new pistol called the congressman... X/post from r/guns .....it doesn't work and you can't fire it."

"Free throws are just as good as the store-bought kind."

"Fun fact about Germany... Fooled ya... There's nothing funny about Germany"

"Sex is like a cookie It's usually good, but most people like it better raw"

"What do you call a group of cattle sent into orbit? The first herd shot round the world!"