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Joke of the Day

"Dogs: OMG YOU'RE HOME! I LOVE YOU!!! Cats: greetings human. as you may have noticed, my food bowl is empty...fill it..I'll be on the couch."

"What did the bullfighter shout just as a bull gored his guts out? Ole shit!"

"Heard unemployment was 10%, but I just did a quick poll of everyone at the office, and it seems like that number may be way high."

"Before you have kids, practice yelling ""GET UP NOW OR I WILL TAKE YOU TO SCHOOL IN YOUR PAJAMAS!"" & see if it's right for you."

"I had a neurotic rabbit once. His name was Stu."

"What's the worst thing about being a Jehovah's witness? Nobody asks, 'who's there?' when you try and tell a knock knock joke."

"what kind of cookies do atoms eat? Fig neutrons"

"How do you get a fool to read something? Mark it as NSFW"

"Why is a gay man having sex similar to Tony Abbott? They're both fucking arseholes."

"Did you hear the news about the failed plan to send ISIS a shipment of deactivated bomb vests? People are surprised it's blowing up."