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Joke of the Day
"what kind of cookies do atoms eat? Fig neutrons"
Next Joke
"Who gets the job of writing the fortunes in the cookies? I want that job. I could really screw with some people."
"I went camping with my family for the first time. It was in tents."
"A zero and an eight are walking in a desert... and the zero asks the eight ""aren't you too hot with that belt on?"""
"Anxiety: making it impossible to tell the difference between a minor problem and a catastrophe since the development of the frontal lobe!"
"I've won the war! My pants fit! **Congratulations, have you lost weight?** _Even better... I've bought new pants!!!_"
"""Did you sign the nondisclosure agreement?"" ""To not disclose what?"" ""So I guess you DID sign the agreement!"""
"BuzzFeed writer (innocently): hey friends. as a friendly activity, tell me your funny anecdotes. coincidentally I have an article due soon"
"Broke up with my Japanese girlfriend today. I had to drop the bomb twice before she got a hint."
"Why did the cowboy buy a dachshund? 'Cause he wanted to git a long, little doggie."