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Joke of the Day

"Han solo vs Redditor Han: NEVER tell the odds! Redditor: I don't even."

"How do you say virgin in German? Goodentite"

"Donald Trump doesn't like Mexicans, and I'm terrible with timed writing prompts. I guess we have similar opinions... We both hate ese's."

"[Target cashier stares at my fingerless gloves] Ah, couldn't help notice you were admiring my hand vests."

"The Australian Cricket Team."

"I tried my best to prepare my girlfriend for dinner with my folks - Dad loved her, so did my sis, but mum said she could've done with another hour or so on a low heat."

"New neighbor: Hi. It's nice to meet you. Me: It's nice to meet you too. This is my daughter, 9 Neighbor: What's your Twitter @ Me: DAMMIT"

"No, YOUR illiterate."

"People don't really care who you are until you lick their face"

"If I had a dollar for every gender created in 2016 I'd have one million dollars, unfortunately it would be in monopoly money because none of them are real."