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Joke of the Day

"I tried my best to prepare my girlfriend for dinner with my folks - Dad loved her, so did my sis, but mum said she could've done with another hour or so on a low heat."

"A general calls a colonel: - Do you have a couple of smart majors? - Yes I do. - Send them to me. I need to move my furniture around."

"How many feminists? How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question, they can't change anything."

"What Is Bluetooth ? When your toothbrush stops working mid brushing"

"My girlfriend kept asking me why I wasn't giving her the time of day anymore I said fine! It's 10:43"

"How do you catch an elephant? You dig a big hole, fill it with ash, and put peas around the outside of the hole. When the elephant comes up to take a pea, you kick him in the ash hole."

"Q: How is a marriage like a hot bath? A: Once you get used to it it's not so hot."

"Q: What did the ruler gain a reputation for while campaigning? A: Straight talk."

"Why can't you have a party on the moon? There's just no atmosphere"

"Your bad Bon-Bon jokes - post em What do you call a man with a spade on his head? .. Doug Got a set of tweezers as the toy as well. Hours of fun right there."