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Joke of the Day

"You would be amazed how cheap lawn mowers are at Home Depot when you own a pickup truck and a orange apron."

"How do you blindfold an Asian woman? Put a windshield in front of her."

"i know i'm getting old because i'm grumpy, i sleep early, and the devil appears with an empty hourglass whenever i shut my medicine cabinet"

"What's E.T. short for? So he can fit in his spaceship."

"Q: What did the tailor say when he pricked his finger? A: Darn!"

"This fat hate on reddit has been ridiculous lately. Come on, give them a break. They have enough on their plates already."

"Getting caught under your desk and coming up with nothing in your hand is always so hard to explain."

"Did you know Princess Di had dandruff? Yeah, they found her head and shoulders in the dashboard."

"90% of being a dad is yelling about doors being left open while the air conditioning is running."

"Why is everything lying on the floor? my mom asked Gravity, I replied."