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Joke of the Day
"My 3 year-old wanted to help me cook breakfast... ...but she wasn't eggsperienced enough."
Next Joke
"4:*calls thing wrong name Me:*corrects him 4:*repeats wrong name Me:*corrects him 4:*maintains eye contact and repeats wrong name slowly"
"What do women and the square root of 2 have in common? They're both irrational."
"Stonewall Jackson was usually in charge of confederate forces during the Civil War. Well General Lee i mean."
"What do you call a girl on the grill? Patty"
"Why Russians never drive stick shift? They really hate Stalin"
"To all the people saying I have fat fingers... FYVK OFF"
"When I was a kid... 'Too cool for school' meant the boiler had broken and we were all sent home."
"*Death comes for me but is once again fooled by my false moustache*"
"When crossing the Delaware River why did George Washington stand up in the boat ? He was afraid that if he sat down that someone would give him an oar to row !"