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Joke of the Day
"I self medicate, therefore you live."
Next Joke
"If you want to give me dirty looks for being at the liquor store at 9am, don't be open."
"[reading online survey] Are you ready to double your satisfaction? My god this sounds wildly inappropriate. *clicks yes*"
"Pizza at gay marriages will inevitably become a trend. It will be largely symbolic (and artisanal)."
"What type of dog did the tweaker have? A pure bred meth lab."
"I went on a pretty crazy camping trip last weekend. It was in tents."
"So if Valentine's Day is for couples, then the other 364 days are for me, right?"
"""that escalated quickly"" -idiot in an elevator"
"Lifehack: Make sure you give your child a normal name Me: are you still mad your parents named you ""lifehack""?"
"Hi, I'm a German and I'm getting really offended by these Holocaust jokes. My grandfather died in the Holocaust. He was stabbed by a Jewish crip he was trying to rape"