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Joke of the Day

"They say a dog park is a great place to meet guys. I don't have a dog, but I walk around with a bag full of poop so I don't look weird."

"Hearing deteriorates as we get older. So why with every new year does the sound of someone eating become louder & more annoying?"

"What did the body-building priest say after he was caught eating all the communion? I was putting on Mass."

"So my girlfriend of five years asked me... . . ""Daddy, when is my 6th birthday?"""

"What do you call a man with a disfigured penis and a woman with a large vagina? Bendidick Cumbersnatch"

"DATE: *takes a sip of her water* ME: haha ok wow can you tone down the pda you're behaving very erotically"

"Women and Wine I like my women like my wine, aging in the cellar."

"Now that the Olympics are over, Michael Phelps can finally be released back to his natural habitat; the couch with a bong."

"Why do Rednecks love cheeseburgers? Because they are in bread."

"Yo mama's so fat That when she walked past the the tv I missed three episodes."