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Joke of the Day
"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl when it pees? Because the p is silent."
Next Joke
"So there's this guy that does nothing but masturbate and watch Netflix all day... Oh wait... That's me."
"What is Kanye's favorite Transformer? Bruce Jenner"
"Sleep is my drug....my bed is my dealer and my alarm clock is the police."
"I can't stop traveling to Southern Spain. It's all so Moorish."
"The only thing that bakes at room temperature. Stoners."
"My friends David reviewed Auschwitz on Tripadvisor... ..he gave it a star."
"I don't like doing the same things again so much that I can never be a serial killer."
"Kanye West agreed to play Santa Claus under the condition that children had to ask him what he wanted for Christmas."
"Ever wonder where people got their surnames from? Mr. Baker was probably a baker. Mr. Butcher might have been a butcher. ...then there's Mr. Dickinson."