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Joke of the Day

"i made the starbucks guy say large instead of venti I HAVE ALREADY CONQUERED WEDNESDAY WHAT NOW"

"An atheist, a vegan, a libertarian, and a BMW owner walk into a bar... I only know because they told everyone in the bar within 2 minutes."

"How do you start a rave in Ethiopia? you nail food to the ceiling"

"Why does the rabbit hide Easter eggs? Because he is ashamed of fucking the chicken."

"I've never fucked a poofter, but I've fucked a bloke who has."

"Remember to leave milk and cookies out for Captain America tonight."

"This tweet was going to be really funny but I didn't write it down because I was totally sure I'd remember it."

"Marriage Proposal In ancient Greece, throwing an apple at a woman was considered a MARRIAGE PROPOSAL. This tradition still continues - throw an apple (iPhone5) and she will say YES!"

"Just ran into a grammar fanatic out with whom I once made."

"I asked my Asian girlfriend for 69 She made me crunchy sweet and sour pork with double rice"