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Joke of the Day

"Marriage Proposal In ancient Greece, throwing an apple at a woman was considered a MARRIAGE PROPOSAL. This tradition still continues - throw an apple (iPhone5) and she will say YES!"

"What do pizzas and parents have in common? If they are black, you've got nothing to eat."

"You know you're getting old when you can't tell the difference between a heart attack and an orgasm."

"The memory foam in my mattress is probably wishing it could forget me."

"Q: How do you tell a brown bear from a grizzly bear? A: Climb a tree. If the bear climbs up and eats you, it's a brown bear. If the bear knocks the tree down and eats you, it's a grizzly."

"first day at school?"" Mother: ""Did you enjoy your first day at school?"" Girl: ""First day? Do you mean I have to go back tomorrow?"

"I will be celebrating Columbus Day by setting sail for India, landing in Spain, and telling everyone who lives there to move out."

"Cop: Whatever you say will be held against you.nMe: TEDDYBEARSnCop: Aww."

"Worst thing about having a daughter is... No matter how hard you try you're daughter is gonna have some other man's dick in her mouth."

"Put a pill in wife's mouth while asleep ""WTF you doing?"" ""for your headache."" ""I don't have one!"" Just what I wanted to hear! *unzip flys"