228499

Joke of the Day

"Got stuck behind a tractor on the way to work this morning. The bloke on top wouldn't stop screaming ""We're all doomed! The end of the world is nigh! Repent!"" Turned out it was Farmer Geddon"

"What do you call a smiling black man? Snigger."

"How to get a divorce Wife: Honey, how do I look? Husband: Like a.. Well, great! Wife: Good great or bad great? Husband: Overflowing sewer grate."

"So evidently the kid who stabbed all the people at his highschool today was always told he would be famous. He felt like today was the day to take a stab at it."

"How do you think the unthinkable? With an ithberg"

"Nothing is impossible. I know a man that once guessed correctly why a woman was mad at him."

"Auto-correct simply means you end up saying stuff that you didn't Nintendo."

"Hello, 911? *twirls phone cord around finger* sooooo how was your day? Did you arrest any bad guys?...No you hang up first! Hello? 911?"

"What's the difference between the 9/11 attack and a dairy cow? You stop milking the cow after ten years."

"Turning vegan is a big missed steak."