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Joke of the Day
"Nothing is impossible. I know a man that once guessed correctly why a woman was mad at him."
Next Joke
"Why did the wizard wear a yellow robe to the Halloween party? He was going as a banana."
"A motorist was pulled over by a traffic cop. ""Excuse me, sir,"" said the cop. ""Do you realize your wife fell out of the car two miles back?"" ""Thank God,"" he said. ""I thought I'd gone deaf!"""
"[showing people around museum] and if u look to ur left you'll see a bunch of uppity people who get reaaal weird when you lick the paintings"
"If you are the winner of Friday's $500 million Mega Millions jackpot can receive the winnings in one lump sum, yearly installments, or one tank of gas."
"How many philosophers does it take to... ...change a light bulb? Define ""light bulb""."
"2000 years ago somewhere in the Middle East 'I do not care who your father is. When I am out here fishing you do not walk on the water...'"
"CSI is like Scooby-Doo for old people."
"The greatest thing about Christmas is how it teaches kids to be selfish little shits on someone else's birthday."
"[NSFW] I asked my roommate if she would suck my cock after I cleaned it... The dirty cocksucker said no!"