228481

Joke of the Day

"Movie Idea: Michael Cera falls down a spiral staircase then pets a cat."

"I think I'm a genius.... I just solved a rubiks cube so fast! It only took me 5 minutes and 25 seconds to peel off all the stickers."

"What was Hitler favorite TV show? The Amazing Race"

"I work to buy a car to go to work."

"Him: Watch your language at dinner tonight. Me: So you want less Tarantino... H: ...and more Seuss. M: Gotcha. No swearing. Lots of rhyming."

"Socialist jokes are the best. Everyone gets them."

"11 y/o Daughter: [opens xmas present] uh..cable ties? Wife: she asked for a pony.. Me: a pony? ..SHE CAN'T EVEN LOOK AFTER HER CABLES LINDA"

"A barber asked a man how he wants his haircut In silence"

"What did the nurse say when she found a rectal thermometer in her pocket? Some asshole has my pen!"

"Rabbits who hang out in indie pet stores are hopsters."